Tuesday, August 23, 2011

"When you know, you know"

Dear my fabulous friends of Utah County.

I am sorry in advance. This post may or may not make you feel suuuuuper uncomfortable, offended perhaps. The reason, is because I am going to go against what you have been taught and believed since your first day in Sunbeams. Something that gets on my nerves more than anything else in the world. The ol’ Utah County fairytale saying of, “When you know, you know”.


This is what people say when they are trying to justify being engaged to each other after dating for 2 months or less. THIS IS SOOO UTAH COUNTY. Why? Because we grow up and are taught to get married to a returned missionary in the temple. It doesn’t matter what his education background, financial status, family situation, etc is. If he is a returned missionary and you get married in the temple, you will live happily ever after.

How do you reach this fairytale? You go to your singles ward, find the first attractive male that you see, and “when you know…you know” and there is no sense in dating longer than 2 months to MAKE SURE that you know.

I know, I know…there was this ONE time when your brother’s wife’s cousin met someone after 10 days….got married…and they lived happily ever after right?? NEWS FLASH- THAT IS THE EXCEPTION. That is the ONE IN A MILLION situation that most likely WON’T happen to you.

Being the logical person that I am…I just DON’T understand this. Last time I checked, forever was A FREAKING long time and a pretty big commitment. Why not date someone for a year?? See them in EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE situation i.e.: family parties, finals week, vacation, church basketball, etc. See if you still “know” when you find out that your significant other is a big spender and has a ton of debt. See if you still “know” when they come on a family vacation and don’t seem to get along with anyone in your family. If you date someone for just a month or two, there is absolutely NO POSSIBLE way that you can see that person in every single type of situation that is telling of their character. We have all had those great friends or roommates that we were really tight with for about 90 days…their true colors come out, and you think “wow! Who is this person??” Someone can fake who they are for a maximum of 90. They can convince you that they are prince or princess you have always dreamed about since primary.

And why rush into things? Seriously…you’ve waited your whole life…why can’t you wait and see after a year of dating? Is it because you don’t want to slip up and have sex outside of marriage? So you are going to make the dumbest decision of your life, get hitched, have a bunch of kids…and be miserable the rest of your life? Just because of the fact that you couldn’t keep your pants on for a few months longer and really get to know the person? COME ON PEOPLE!

All I’m saying is…take your time. DATE. Get to know each other. If you do “know” after 3 months, then that’s GREAT! You both know that you have found the person that is perfect for you. BUT STILL DATE! Marriage can be the best or worst decision of your life. It’s TOTALLY up to you. Don’t rush it. Forever is a reallllllllllly realllllly long time, enjoy being young and single free of the responsibilities of marriage. It will actually make you a better spouse if you get into the marriage a little older, wiser, and more stable!

Okay, there you have it. My Utah County rant is over. I will move to Logan now.


  1. This one makes me absolutely happy. I couldn't agree more with EVERYTHING you said. It took me 4 years of dating (okay, including the mission, which might not count) to realize that that relationship was destructive, and would not make a good marriage. I wouldn't date someone for less than a year before getting married.

    Rock on, Kelli. Rock on.

  2. thank you. thank you. thank you.

  3. agreed. the longer i'm out of utah county the sicker i get thinking about it. question is - what spurred the intense rant this evening?

  4. But seriously! I have never ever understood why people would date for such a short amount of time. It just doesn't seem safe or responsible at all!

  5. Beth, I have been thinking about this all summer and finally just wrote it all down. My parents thought it was too funny and told me I just HAD to put it up on life in the sexy lane. No worries, I nothing happened to cause an intense amount of anger that spurred a blog post, I just finally decided to write out something that has been on my mind after a summer spent in U.C.