This Sunday marks 200 days of continuous sobriety. This, as always, BLOWS my mind! I remember the first 100 days, I was holding on so tightly to make it to that 100 day mark. This second set of 100 days has brought quite a bit of change for me.
First, I have noticed that my life no longer revolves around my addiction. I don't think as much about using or memories of using. I don't notice triggers or cravings nearly as much as I did the first 100 days. I am not uncomfortable just trying to abstain from using drugs. My life is now focused on RECOVERY. I now think more about what opportunities I have in recovery. There are three things that I have found to be extremely important as a person who is in recovery and would like to stay in recovery:
1. Balance: When I have a healthy balance of sleep, exercise, healthy foods, friends, family, work, and recovery- I feel at peace. I don't feel unsettled or like I should be doing more or less of anything. I love feeling at balance. Obviously, this is a constant battle for me since I have such an addictive personality and too much of anything can be a bad thing. I am getting better and better each day as I remember to live in balance and continue to move forward and try harder each day to live a balanced life. I feel really good about my efforts lately. Sometimes I can get obsessed with running, a TV show, sleeping, playing all the time, etc but lately I feel a really solid sense of balance. I am doing enough in my recovery to make sure I am on top of things and not becoming complacent, but at the same time, it's not my entire life. It's a BIG part of my life, but not my entire life. That's something I think everyone can work on in different degrees of different parts of life.
2. Community. This is something that I am finding has been very helpful for me and something I wish I would have become a part of sooner in recovery. Going to different groups and meeting new people the last few weeks has been so much fun. It has made recovery so much more fun than just feeling like I am alone in this. Since I was alone in my addiction, for some reason, I thought I had to be alone in my recovery. I didn't want people to know I was an addict for such a long time that even going to a meeting with other addicts was out of the question. When I was in treatment, I grew very close to my housemates and the treatment community. Once I was out, I felt lost and slowly drifted from the people I was in treatment with. That's why stepping out of my comfort zone and being around people in recovery has been so nice. It's fun to see people who are 5+ years sober and how meaningful their lives are now. I can't wait to be one of those people. At the same time, I feel very fortunate to be in recovery so young since most people my age who are addicts are still active in their addictions.
3. Service. This past week, I have begun volunteering at my old treatment center. It has been so fun to go back to a place that means so much to me, and give back. Hopefully at some point I will work there, but right now, I feel like it's my opportunity to give back to a program that changed my life and help others fight their own battles. I cannot even tell you how stoked I am to start school next month and begin my journey as an addiction counselor! I believe the most meaningful part of recovery is to be able to help pull others out of the addiction hole and show them that anyone is capable of recovery if they want it bad enough.
Besides getting involved in the recovery community and volunteering, I am also taking time to exercise each day and get my body back to the health I need to go back to school and work.
Today I went on a beautiful trail run:
I got some new workout stuff with a bunch of gift cards I had this past weekend. I looooove new work out clothes!
I love the fact that I have a pair of Brooks for every running outfit!
One day I will write a post about how recovery is so much like trail running!
Here's to 200 more days!