This was me right before rehab
This was me after rehab
Deciding how to approach recovery is something that every addict struggles with. Each person is different, and it can be hard to decide what your personal recovery is going to look like. Sometimes, people can approach it very silently by just working with a counselor and not involving very many people.
Others (like me) need to share their experience. For themselves, and hopefully for others as well. I know some people feel weird about how open I have been about my addiction and my recovery, and that's totally okay. It's okay to have an opinion about how someone approaches recovery, but PLEASE keep it to yourself. DO NOT criticize how another person handles their own recovery.
It is already a very sensitive and vulnerable topic. Honestly, I feel like crawling into a hole and taking a bunch of pills secretly. Secrets, for me, are very dangerous. I HAVE to have my addiction public to keep myself safe. If I feel like someone is annoyed by the way I have handled my sobriety or feels uncomfortable by how much I share, I honestly feel like my open wounds have had salt poured directly in them. I am walking around with third degree burns that are completely exposed. PLEASE be sensitive to this. PLEASE understand that this is a real person with real feelings.
I want to continue to be vulnerable and share. It is so liberating and makes me feel strong. I feed off of the love and support that people have shown me. I need the validation that people give me, so that I can keep moving forward.
I know that at the end of the day, sobriety is MINE to keep and it shouldn't matter what people think. But, I don't have anyone else but myself. I feel so alone in this and I LOVE feeling other people's support.
Thank you again to those who have shown love and acceptance for who I am and don't judge who I once was.