Yes, this is me hugging myself!
This summer has been a reallllly weird summer for me. I am someone who seems like a very confident person, yet I am actually SUUUPER insecure. Why? Because I feel this need to be absolutely perfect in everything in my life. If something feels like a "failure" to me, I can NOT let it go. So at the beginning of the summer I ran a marathon. I didn't get the time that I wanted. I felt like an ABSOLUTE failure, and it has actually been nagging at me all summer. I haven't felt exactly like myself, because I have felt so bummed out by this failure. On top of that, someone (whose opinion really mattered to me for some reason) told me that they thought I wasn't good enough, I was fat, and I wasn't going anywhere in life. WOW. That realllly hit me HARD. On top of that, I have had friends tell me that they don't want to be my friend and basically view me as someone that causes too much drama and isn't sincere.
For a perfectionist, those are some hard words to digest. When I am already struggling to feel confident, it's hard to hear what other people think about you. BUT, just because they believe that, you don't have to believe their words. You have power over what you are going to do with those words and how you are going to react.
So to say the least, this hasn't been the greatest summer. I didn't tell you those things to make you feel bad for me, because feeling bad doesn't change them or take them back...
So where do I go from here?
I learn and move forward.
I have made a new goal to work on this school year, and I think that it's something that we all should work on.
This year, I am going to BE MY OWN BEST FRIEND!!
I am really going to treat myself like I would treat my very best friend. If my best friend got my marathon time, I would be TOTALLY stoked for them! So why not give myself that same love? Why are we always so hard on ourselves, thinking that we are not capable of even our own love? We deserve our personal love first and foremost. So I challenge everyone who reads my blog, BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. Talk nice to yourself. Treat yourself good. And be more positive about who your are and your capabilities. Because despite what ANYONE else believes, if YOU believe you are capable of something, YOU can do it!
Today when I was listening to church music, I heard a line that really jumped out to me, "Will I want to be the person I've become, when all is said and done?"
I sure hope that I will want to be the person that I have become!
Ok, sorry for the deepness and mushy gushy of the blog.
I promise to be funny tomorrow!