Friday, August 12, 2011


No, not because I used to look like the child in the photo above....


I CAN NOT SLEEP! Ok ok I know people all the time say they can't sleep and they have insomnia. Everyone thinks...whatever they are just retarded. They could sleep if they wanted to. They just need to learn how to sleep, it's not that hard right?


So ever since I was 16 years old (my 16th year of life was a very hard year of my life and many traumatizing things happened to me that year), I have not been able to sleep. I have tried EVERYTHING. Finally, I surrendered to the sleeping pill Ambien. The thing about it is the judgement you get when you tell someone you take Ambien. They think you are a dumb faker that could really sleep if they tried. Then there is also the dependency factor. You never want to be dependent on sleeping pills, because then it won't really be effective after awhile. So, last week I decided I wasn't going to take Ambien for a few weeks and see how things go.

I have literally not slept for SEVEN days now. SEVEN WHOLE DAYS! I am literally so irritated that I am straight up going insane. It's such a mystery to me, because I started to believe what other people were telling me. I could really sleep if I tried. I am having serious flashbacks of late nights of over-thinking in high school and feeling like I am going crazy because I can't sleep no matter what I do. You would think if you went like 3 days without sleeping, your body would FINALLY just fall over and you would sleep for days right? Still waiting to crash...

I do all of the right things:

-I don't sleep in.
-I don't take naps.
-I exercise.
-I don't eat late at night.
-I listen to calming classical music at bedtime.
-I allow myself "wind-down" time.
-I don't live a lazy life...meaning I am never just laying around watching TV, EVER.


It's 2am, and I have literally been laying in my bed thinking since 10:30pm. What in the world is wrong with me?!

Now I am just straight up stressed, because I have a statistics final tomorrow and I would prefer not to feel completely out of it due to lack of sleep.

Oh, and I decided to do the Moonlight Half Marathon tomorrow night. It will be fab on zero hours of sleep in 7 days!

So, there you have it. I am a mystery. And open to any and all suggestions to get myself to fall asleep....I have most likely tried them all at some point in the past 6 years...

1 comment:

  1. Have you tried Unisom? It's not addictive and so safe you can even use it when you are pregnant. It comes over the counter and I have some extra pills. Just let me know if you want to try it. I hope your stats final went well!