If I was to compare running a marathon and school right now, I would say that I have hit mile twenty and I have bonked HARRRRD. Up until now, I have just been going strong and hard getting things done and doing things almost close to perfection. Well, today I just lost all my motivation. I don't want to do my homework or get the nagging things done. I just don't want to do anything. I'm actually slightly grumpy about life today. So...I apologize in advance!
#1: This week, I can't help but remember my brother-in-law Byron who passed away 6 years ago on October 21. It's a pretty weird thing. I am happy and excited, because I am 6 years closer to being able to see and talk to him again. I feel like I have grown and become so much better in the past 6 years since his death. I feel like he would be proud of me if he was still around and saw all that I am doing or have done. At the same time, I am 6 years away from his memory. I find myself forgetting the small things, which makes me sad. Sometimes I feel bad, because I don't remember him enough or think about him as often as I used to. Either way, it's a weird week and I miss him so much.
#2. Senioritis and perfectionism don't mix. I have gotten a huge dose of senioritis the past few weeks. The end is so close to being here and I find myself starting to try and coast to the finish, rather than finishing strong. Some examples of senioritis:
- I woke up this morning at 7:30 to go to my 7:30 class.
- I skipped class this afternoon to take a nap.
- I used to be really ambitious and park at the bottom of the parking garage, then walk the 4 flights of stairs to get to campus. Lately, I have been parking on the top of the garage to avoid the stairs, or taking the elevator to avoid walking too much.
#3. Yesterday, I was completely unmotivated to run. I thought MAYBE I would run 2 miles. I just didn't want to get out and work hard at all. So, I implemented a new running strategy and put in a solid 7 miles. I used all of my energy to run as far away as I could, which was 3.5 miles. By the time I didn't want to run anymore, I was 3.5 miles away from home and had to cover the distance to run back home. Totally worked! I put in 5 more miles than planned and felt proud of myself!
I hope you guys aren't as grumpy as I am today! Optimistic Kelli should return soon...I hope...