Monday, February 10, 2014

How I Found The Motivation To Change

Many people have asked me how I found the motivation to change and overcome my addiction. 

This post is something that makes me very emotional, because it is truly dear to my heart. I had to tell my mom my thoughts on this subject before I could share this story on my blog, because I felt she had the right to know how her support changed the ball game for me. I personally believe she was inspired.

A couple of weeks before I went to rehab, I didn't care about myself. I didn't believe anyone else cared either. I remember telling a close friend that my parents didn't even care and I was all alone in this struggle. She said, "Just trust in your parents. Give them a shot." So, I reluctantly began to talk to my parents more and more about my struggles and lean on them for the support that I felt I needed. 

When I went to rehab, I was completely lost. I felt empty inside and didn't think I could ever be the Kelli everyone knew and loved ever again. I had no sense of who I was or what I wanted. My entire life for almost an entire year revolved around trying to escape life and escape who I was. 

Then, something amazing happened. My mom began to reaffirm my identity. Almost every time we would talk when I was in rehab and even after rehab, she would say, "Kelli, I know you can do this. I know how strong you are, you just need to rely on your inner strength that is already there. Every challenge you have faced up to this moment prepared you to overcome this challenge. This is just like the last six miles of a marathon. Reach inside yourself and find that person who pushed through the last six miles, because that's who you truly are."

Those words changed everything. I really did reach inside of myself and find that person and that strength that I had. I gave it everything I had in rehab. I pushed myself to face my demons. I didn't go to rehab to completely change who I was. I went to find my core again. To find my inner strength and courage to overcome this challenge. 

People have asked me how they can support a loved one who has an addiction. My advise is this: don't tell them they need to change. Tell them to reach inside themselves and find that core of who they truly are. Finding my true identity again was exactly what I needed to overcome the challenges I was facing. 

I truly believe every part of my journey was inspired by God. I know my mom was inspired to share those thoughts that changed my journey. I know I was inspired to humble myself enough to say that I needed help when I hit rock bottom. I truly believe everything that I share on this blog is inspired by God and might help at least one person who reads these posts. 

Love your addict. Don't push them away. Love them and tell them that they are capable. They can beat this thing. They have that deep strength to overcome their struggles. It will change their lives, just like it changed mine!

1 comment:

  1. Wow that is really inspiring. It always makes me very happy to hear that someone was able to overcome a addiction in order to have a more happy and complete life. I am still working on overcoming my addiction and I found what you wrote to be very heart warming and inspirational. It makes me think that I can be who I was and want to be in the future. I found this article online and know we can both sympathize with this man and fell happy for him. Hope you like it!