Saturday, January 4, 2014

Chapter Two: Candy

To be honest...I have no idea where these posts are going. I am just writing my story as the words flow through my head. 


Pills became the world's finest chocolates. 

Any social situation needed something to take the edge off. Work was easier with a little candy in me. Sleep was possible. Running didn't hurt. School wasn't stressful anymore. Being alone wasn't scary. But most importantly of all, life was possible  without Byron in it.

My favorite candy became the tiny baby blue circles: Fioricet. 

Initially, my Dr. gave me Fioricet for tension headaches, stating that it was a very safe medication for my chronic headaches. 

At first, it just took two to knock me right out. At the end, I took a whole bottle to barely feel the same effects. On my last day gulping down these little enemies, my therapist ended up coming to my house and sitting on my couch to make sure I lived. Luckily for me, I did. 

That's how bad things got for me.

These magic little pills became more important than everything. More important than work, friends, sleep, food, family, water, even my life. I would give my life to feel the effects of these gnarly barbiturates. 

I got down to 110 pounds. My whole body broke out with crazy acne. I isolated myself to my bed and gulped the candy as quickly as it came.  My mind was consumed with how to get my next fix. My entire life spiraled downward as I lived with this big secret.

Sure, at first it was just candy. Just something that made me feel good for a bit. Something to do recreationally, or something to take if I was sad and didn't want to feel sad anymore. I would quickly learn that this candy was more like poison to my life and soul.

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