C DIDDY

So this is C. Diddy. More commonly referred to as "Cath". She is so rad and I will tell you why...

She is one of the most selfless people I know. She is always willing to drop anything and help someone that needs her. She is the most selfless with a resource that nobody has enough of: TIME. She seriously wakes up early and goes to bed late and in between all she is doing is things that will benefit others. Sometimes I get frustrated or selfish, because I want her all to myself but when I step back and realize what she is doing, I become a lot more grateful for her and her example to me.

She also is a spiritual GIANT! I have never met someone with so much faith and endurance. She is always pressing forward with the knowledge that if she is doing what she is supposed to, things will work out.

She is a great friend to ALL. My mom really is the greatest example to me of what a friend is. She is always calling to check up on people, writing them notes, or taking them out to do something fun when they are having a bad day.

I could go on and on, but I need to get to class. But today, I just wanted to say how thankful I am that I have such a great mom and example in my life! Love ya mom!

Human Conflicts

I have been thinking a lot about how to communicate better with people and how to eliminate so much conflict and misunderstanding. I have realized this is why most conflict occurs....we will use pretend names to illustrate.

Jane really really loves and cares about John, but doesn't feel like John is reciprocating the same love. This makes Jane feel like she is vulnerable to being hurt.

Because Jane feels threatened, she pulls away from John AND she starts picking stupid fights so John will start showing that he cares more.

This offends John because he doesn't like all of the conflict that Jane is causing.

Instead of showing her that he really loves her too...because of fear that he will be vulnerable to losing her...he acts defensively.

Pretty soon there is conflict all the time and each person feels upset and doesn't understand how this happened.

What I realized is weird? Most of the reason that people fight and hurt each other is because they LOVE each other. Most of conflict begins with LOVE. How weird is that? It's when things get so messy and beyond repair that people stop feeling love towards the other and feel like it is time to move on. So here are my thoughts on how to reduce conflict:

1. Serve each other. If you serve someone, you can't help but feel that love for them. You will stop feeling upset and angry at a person if you will selflessly serve them and think about their needs over your own.

2. Using "I" sentences rather than "You" sentences. Which sounds better? "YOU didn't call me and YOU just don't care and YOU never do this or that." OR...."I was just really sad that you didn't call me, because I really wanted to see you and it really hurts my feelings, because I really care about you." That sounds way better! Why? Because instead of attacking someone, you are responding with love and concern and communicating exactly how you feel.

3. Let go of the small stuff. Don't let stupid things get to you and then live inside of you. It is EXHAUSTING to be angry. And why be angry? I have never met someone that has said, "Man, being angry is the best feeling"...people don't make movies about how people fall into anger. They make movies about how people fall into love!

4. Responding with love. If someone is bugging you and you get defensive and angry, that is making the situation SO much worse. Maybe they are having a hard time and taking it out on you. Maybe they aren't communicating what they really feel, so you got to be the lucky one that they take all their anger out on. When someone is freaking out at you, rather than get all bugged and defensive, why not grab them...give them a hug...and say, "What's really wrong? And what can I do to help?"

5. Communication. I have found that when I feel myself getting frustrated or mad, if I talk directly to the person about how it made me feel or what I am thinking, things resolve 1,000,000 times faster! I can get it off my chest, and we can discuss it rather than hold the anger in and let things get way worse than they need to be.

So there ya go. There is my "Kelli wisdom" today. I have been trying really hard to live by these rules and it really has made the biggest difference. I can go to bed feeling at peace and I love people so much more than I ever have before. Try it! Why not?

Just another day in paradise

So my life is pretty legitimate. I get a good education (which I am close to done with) AND I get to teach teenage girls how to play basketball. On top of all that, I have such fun roommates who I get to play with and talk to. Sounds pretty legit right? Cause it is. So Friday afternoon, we had a THREE hour practice. I was mentally exhausted after. In fact, we went to watch the Jazz games and I just sat down and fell asleep. It felt SOOO good! Then, this morning I coached a practice at six AM. Oh what a joy that is. When you are half asleep, can't remember people's names, and just yelling at them random things that pop into your head. Very productive. After that I just came home and PASSED out. It felt SOOOO good. I can't even describe to you how lovely it felt to lay down and not think about anything I have to do and just sleep it all off. I still am in the "I'm so tired and don't wanna be productive mood" so I decided to write about coaching.

Coaching teaches you SO much. I never realized this, because I always just believed that my coaches were perfect and knew everything they were talking about. This is not the case. Coaching makes you look inside A LOT. What kind of coach do I want to be? The tough kind that nobody likes, the yelling kind, the quiet kind that gets taken advantage of, or the kind that can really get through to the girls and talk them through things. I honestly don't know what kind I am. I am tough and yell at the girls a lot, but I also try to step back and really teach them. I try to show them exactly what I mean, and help them through, then praise them for doing well.

I really want to try and build confidence. Some of the best coaches I had, were the toughest...yet they believed in me and built me up rather than tore me down. The trick is...people are motivated differently. I could yell at one girl ALL day and that's what she needed to be better. Another girl needed to be shown what I meant and talked through it. Another girl just needed praise the whole time. You can't just coach one way and hope that you have a good, well rounded team...because there is no way that you can.

It has been really tough for me to go out in the leader position and feel confident enough in myself to help the girls. Coaches question themselves all the time. We have to act like we know what we are talking about, and stick with what we tell them. They believe that we know what is best for them...so we have to make quick decisions and go with it. These girls trust my knowledge, even though I am second guessing myself all the time.

I see things from a totally different perspective now than I did when I was a player. I really want to be able to motivate and teach these girls and there really isn't a minute when I am not thinking about one of them. It truly is probably the most selfless I have ever been. I learn more and more everyday and I really think that I might be growing as a coach more than they grow as players sometimes. I have totally been out of my comfort zone this week, but everyday I feel more and more comfortable and confident in myself. I feel like I have really learned to understand how people deserve to be treated and communicated with. Everyone needs someone, and I need to be that someone for people. Stop thinking about myself and go to work. Whether it's to be there for my family, roommates, friends, or the girls I coach.

Anyways....those were super random thoughts that probably sounded better in my head. But there you have it. Time to lay down again.

....More like life in the Coaching Lane

WOW! What a week this has been.... I seriously have been SO CRAZY. Like out of control. Like my brain can't think anymore. Like I have just been going and going and haven't stopped forever. Like I finally have the night to do what I want...and I don't even know what to do with myself! I just want to lay in my bed and not think.

So this week was the first week coachin basketball. I am a varsity/jv basketball coach at Mountain Crest High School. On Monday and Tuesday we had tryouts. I honestly had the HARDEST time with tryouts. Cause tryouts means cuts. And cuts means crushing some high school girls' world. We had to cut some very talented and dedicated players that I didn't even really know, but still had a REALLY hard time with it. I really don't think I have EVER been that stressed out in my entire life. It was SO HARD. It is definitely A LOT harder being on the coaching end of tryouts.

On top of tryouts, I had some HUGE semester assignments/papers due at the beginning of the week that I had to make sure were flawless.

Once I got past tryouts and the papers, then came two-a-day practices and a test in Consumer Economics. This means I have been busy from 5am-12am EVERY DAY. I am straight up EXHAUSTED!

On top of that, I have been sick

So, to say the least, it has been a LOOONG tough week for me. But I think it will all pay off. I will write a post sometime about just coaching. Cause I really have learned a lot about myself and teaching and motivating.

On a brighter note, two test scores for the week: 99% and 90%! Yay!

Eventful Weekends

For some reason, I always think that I am either going to get a lot done or get a lot of rest on the weekends and usually neither happens. Things always come up and I do something out of the plan. This weekend was no different. On Friday, we went to the basketball game, and then went to a bonfire that didn't have s'mores so we decided to go home and make out own on our stove! Then were delicious! Then Saturday, I got some basketball things done in the morning and then headed to Salt Lake to meet up with my very best friend from Dixie: Ben! It was soooo good to see him and chat like old times! Since I was down that way, I decided to just stay at my parent's Saturday night and hangout with the fam Sunday. My little bro and I got to watch a chick flick (it's our thing, I love it!) and I got to catch up a little bit on some rest! After dinner, I headed back up to Logan to see the roommates...and other very attractive people.....

Jen, Me, and Kaylee going to the Bon Fire

Attempting roommate jumping pictures....

Just a Typical Thursday Evening...

This week has just been one thing right after the next! I don't really know why that should be surprising though...I am always up to something! After a super busy day catching up in school, I decided I needed to play Thursday night. Vinnie texted me telling me that he was going to the Volleyball game. Well I really wanted to see him, so I told my roommate Kaylee that I wanted to go to the game (conveniently leaving out that I was going to meet up with Vinnie). So as we are going up, Kaylee goes, "I didn't even know you liked Volleyball!" I then responded saying, "I don't, but Vinnie is here." She then proceeded to get very angry that I had left that part out. But I knew that she wouldn't come with me if it was to meet up with a guy and make her the third wheel! I didn't want to walk up to the game alone, come on! But it all turned out well and she was glad she came. After the game, we all went hot tubbing. Hannah never comes, so we had to get a picture to prove she was there!

I have no idea how Volleyball works...

We both pulled the same face and didn't even plan it!

Vinnie kept pullin creeper faces...

I love this picture!

Hanners and I after the Hot Tub!!!

Park City

On Wednesday night, my family did the annual tradition of going up to the Park City outlets and picking out what we want for Christmas and going out to eat. This was the first year that I was able to make it, and boy am I glad I came! The whole evening I had the funniest little shopping date holding my hand and chattin away to me: Kali. Man is that kid a treat. She was in the best mood and I was lovin it! She is such a good kid and I love when she wants to be with me and talk to me. I took her into Claires knowing that she would absolutely LOVE it. When we left, she confirmed when she shouted out, "I LOVE CLAIRES! IT'S MY NEW FAVORITE STORE!" so naturally I asked her what her old favorite store was. Her response? THE MALL. Just the whole thing I guess! A few more classic Kali quotes:

For those of you that know about my belly button...it is very much an "Innie" belly button. Like a hole really. Well as I was changing, Kali looks over and goes, "OH MY GOSH!!!! KELLI YOU HAVE A HUGE HOLE IN YOUR BELLY BUTTON!!" Like it was this huge medical emergency! She then proceeded to lift up her entire skirt to show me what a belly button is "supposed" to look like. Thanks a lot!

This other one was pretty classic as well. Kali has stated concerns about me not wanting to get married. She legitimately is concerned that I will never get married. She has tried to counsel me on it many times saying that it would be okay and I would still be able to see my family, and her and I would be able to still play while my husband is at work. So while we were shopping she says, "Kelli, you're 21. My aunt Nicole is 20. She is married and has a baby. She got married a long time ago when she was young. It's time for you to get married now." Such a mess!

Anyway, when we shopped in PC, I didn't go to any of the normal store I go to! I didn't even LOOK at running shoes, workout clothes, jackets, or cool t-shirts. Nothin. Instead, Cath and I went to "Grown up" stores to look for more professional "businesswoman" type clothes. I actually am very pleased with the things I got. I decided it's time to start accumulating professional clothes (SO WEIRD)!

So here are some pictures from the night...I love my family!

Kali, dad, and Rylie

Cath and Ry

Little Miss Happy in her very classy Minnie Mouse hat

Little Miss Allie. All the scrapes on her face? She tried to walk up cement stairs. This kid is the biggest dare-devil I have EVER seen!

Rylie was so worn out by the end of the night, but didn't want to miss anything!