Sunday, April 27, 2014

My Rehab Experience

This was the day I left for rehab. I bawled the entire drive there.

Nobody was more against me going to rehab than I was. 

I had so many fears. I was worried I would feel trapped. I was worried I would miss my family too much. I was worried that I wouldn't fit in. I was scared of committing to sobriety. But most of all, I was TERRIFIED of facing all of my demons and surviving without being heavily medicated.

I went to Turning Point in Sandy, just down the road from my house. Turning Point is a non 12 step program that focuses on cognitive behavioral therapy combined with educating on the disease model of addiction. 

This was the best fit for me by far. Every addict needs to find a treatment program that works for them, and for me, this was exactly what I needed. 

At Turning Point, we lived in a really comfortable environment that was conducive to recovery. We weren't allowed to have caffeine or sugar except on the weekends. We had amazing meals cooked with whole foods. I was obsessed with all of the fresh fruit we had every day. We worked out two hours a day. We had fun sober activities every weekend. We went on walks. We went to coffee once or twice a week. Basically, what I am saying is that our schedules were PACKED. Not once did I feel stuck or like I was trapped. 

As far as therapy, we did a couple group sessions a day. One group session a day was cognitive behavioral based. We also met with an individual counselor three times a week. Every other week, we had a family group session with our families. 

Some of the fun things we did on weekends: we went to a movie every Saturday. We went rock climbing, to Boondocks, bowling, to the Snowbird Spa, we played laser tag, got treats at the gas station (the gas station runs were highly important), we went to Target once a week, we went to Color Me Mine, we went Ice Skating at the Gallivan Center, went to Barnes and Noble every weekend. So basically, we learned how we could have fun sober. We also had a lot of down time on the weekends so that we had time to just sit by ourselves and learn how to be sober through the boring times. We also had yoga class once a week. Another positive thing was that I actually got to take a nap every day. This was HIGHLY important!

So like I said, I was never once bored. This model of recovery was exactly what I needed. Almost every staff member, including my therapist, was in recovery. They never talked down to us, because they knew EXACTLY what we were going through. 

My experience at Turning Point was so positive. An answer to many many desperate prayers. The only regret that I have is that I didn't go sooner. I actually still see my Dr who is an addictionologist once every 2 months (he is also in recovery- so awesome!) I see my therapist from Turning Point still once a week ever since I have gotten out. I really can't say enough positive things about Turning Point. 

I went during the Holidays (Nov & Dec) and I didn't care that I was missing all of the festivities at all. I could still call my family and friends and see them every Sunday. I didn't miss not having a phone or Facebook at all!

My biggest encouragement in rehab was this letter from my niece Kali that I carried with me everywhere I went: 

Dear Kelli, 
I hope you are feeling better. I want you not to be sick. I know what it feels like to be sick. I want you to have an awesome fun time. I love you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much. I am glad you are my aunt. I will visit you on Sunday. Hope you feel better. 
Love, Kali

I don't know if she will ever know how much that letter meant to me. It pretty much got me through the dark times I had. I am so lucky to have so many people in my life that love me!

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