I really truly honestly didn't believe in myself enough to believe I could stay sober for 100 days. I am actually still in shock.
Self medicating was just second nature to me. If I was bored, happy, worried, sad, stressed, etc. I would take something. Every social situation I was on something. Besides from Nov 2011-Aug 2012, this is the longest period of sobriety I have ever had. I couldn't stop smiling yesterday.
It's crazy to reflect on the past 100 days. The first couple days were really hard, because it's always hard the first couple of days. Then, there were the awkward days. The days where I honestly didn't know what to do with myself because I wasn't getting high and I also wasn't even running, because I wanted to learn how to handle life without drugs or running. Then, there were ups and downs. There were so many almosts. There were so many times where I would tell my therapist EXACTLY how I was going to get my next fix. There were times where I felt like I would never need to self medicate again.
But most of all...I faced life on life's terms. I dealt with my roommate robbing me, a job change, getting sick constantly, and many other tough things that I wanted so badly to just check out for awhile and not have to actually feel the emotions that was necessary to feel.
I finally faced life and my demons and I survived. I am so much stronger than I have ever been. For the first time in 8 years, I feel like myself. I got to bed and my mind doesn't race with everything that has been building up inside me. I feel so much lighter. I know there are hard times ahead, but the celebration of these big milestones is what makes it all worth it.
I invited about 30 people to come to a party to celebrate 100 days of sobriety and pretty much every single person I invited showed up to support me. It meant so much to know that I literally have an army behind me to help fight the battle of addiction. It makes me feel so much more capable, grateful, and humble. Thank you to everyone who has reached out in support of me. I mean, to proclaim that I have been sober for 100 days and get over 100 likes on Facebook is pretty rad!
Here's some pics lately:
They say that when you give up one addiction, you should be aware of cross-addiction. I am fully aware that my cross addiction is shopping. I'm totally cool with that!
Being this kid's hero is probably my absolute most favorite part of my life!!
Decorating an Easter cake at the family Easter party!
She's such a good Blog poser!
Easter Egg Hunt! Yes, I still participate in finding the eggs with all of the kids!
I have tried so hard to get a good picture of this gorgeous little girl, but she always dodges the family paparazzi!
I'm back to running regularly and loving it! I got cleared by my Dr. to run a Half Marathon this summer as long as I actually train for it this time!
My run after work was JUST what I needed!
I don't check my sobriety calendar too often, because I don't want white knuckle my sobriety day by day. But I definitely checked it yesterday!!
Again, THANK YOU to all of the love and support that I have received these past few months. I couldn't have done it without everyone's support, it means so much!
Hey let me know which half and I wanna run it with you... by with you I mean I want to run it and you run it... and you'll prob be home when I get done, but hey then we could say we ran it together. :) love yaReplyDelete