I have thought a lot lately. I have had some great conversations with great friends with amazing insights. Unfortunately, I am a little down on life lately(seems like most my blog posts have been this way since about August). I don't feel like being around people, I don't feel like running, I don't see the purpose of having faith things will work out because no matter how hard I try and pray...things get worse or I don't feel better. I don't see a purpose or meaning for my life lately. I don't know why I am here or why I matter, and I probably shouldn't even post this...
I have decided to tell you what I believe:
1. I believe in a higher power.
2. I believe in loving others unconditionally no matter what they decide to do with their lives.
3. I believe in serving others, whether they are happy or having a hard time.
4. I believe in being a loyal friend.
5. I believe in forgiving and forgetting.
6. I believe in reaching out of my comfort zone and making others feel welcome and loved.
7. I believe in being honest and true to who I am and my feelings.
8. I believe in being exactly who I am, not who people wish or want me to be.
9. I believe in exercise.
10. I believe in always doing in my heart what is right.
11. I believe in accepting others for who they are and where they are going- no matter their beliefs.
12. I believe in being a good person (based on my own definition of what that is).
13. I believe in being genuine and unconditionally loving to others.
14. I believe in not judging others, you never know what they are going through.
15. I believe in being honest with others.
So there's a few things I have realized I believe in.
I don't believe in:
1. Being judgmental based on how "righteous a person is"- especially in a church that has a reputation for that.
2. I don't believe in rejecting others for their beliefs or values.
3. I don't believe in judging others for their actions or thoughts.
4. I don't believe in putting others down, because they might be different.
5. I don't believe in being dishonest in order to try to protect others.
6. I don't believe in being fake on social media, so that others believe your life is better than it actually is.
7. I don't believe in being dis loyal or speaking badly of you friends- especially those you say you love.
8. I don't believe in being unforgiving- no matter what someone has done or said to you.
9. I don't believe in being too busy to listen to someone.
10. I don't believe in caring too much about worldly possessions.
11. I don't believe in being obsessed with anything too much.
12. I don't believe in trying to appear perfect or close to perfect for fear of what others might think.
13. I don't believe in being fake in general.
14. I don't believe in doing things just because everyone else is doing them.
15. I don't believe in talking about people badly who you don't understand.
Sorry. Probably deep. Perhaps rantly. I haven't decided what I want in life anymore. I have felt extremely judged by some, and try not to be offended and forgive over time. At the same time, I feel as if my love isn't enough and I don't matter to others, no matter how hard I try. I don't understand some things. Life is hard for everyone, and my trials are nothing compared to what some of you are going through. Love others. Don't judge. Be honest with yourself and others. Do what it takes to be happy.
That is all.