So, exactly 2 months ago, I had what I refer to as my "mental health car crash". I am not going to go into further detail, but I will say this. The pressure of being perfect that I placed upon myself made me crash HARD. It has been a hard journey since then trying to establish my purpose and what I want out of life. Writing on here, for whatever reason, is liberating. It's liberating to show my imperfections and think MAYBE just MAYBE a fellow perfectionist will be relieved to know that someone else struggles with it as well. It's been a tough road, but I really believe that it will be worth it. The thought that I don't have to be perfect and I can be whoever I want to be, even if it's messy sometimes, makes me SO excited!
So, the other day, I was given the assignment to create a map of my idea of "A Life Worth Living". Keep in mind, this isn't a bucket list, rather a map of the journey I want to take my life on. I wrote pages and pages, but I will just share a few of what my "Life Worth Living" map looks like:
- Become comfortable being imperfect.
- Love myself and others unconditionally.
- Take a non judgmental stance on myself and others.
- Go on adventures:
- Hike Kili
- Hike McKinley
- Backpack Europe
- Live in another country.
- Qualify for Boston.
- Have a solid relationship with God, regardless of religious structure.
- Learn how to meditate effectively to manage stress and sleep.
- Do a triathlon.
- Have a family.
- Don't fake who I am to make others comfortable, be authentic regardless of other's beliefs.
- Write a book.
- Engage in public speaking.
- Learn to surf.
- Make others laugh and feel happy.
- Ask for help.
- Feel deserving.
- Get a PHD
- Be a leader/teacher/coach.
- Take risks based on faith, rather than fear.
- Believe in myself.
So there's a glimpse of my outline. It's something that will help me base my decisions on moving forward. When faced with a decision, I can go back to this outline and decide if it will help or hurt my Life Worth Living journey. I'm so excited to move forward and feel a purpose and feel completely whole, even if I'm not perfect.
"We cannot do great things, we can only do small things with great love."